This season felt less about the relationships we cling to and more about the friendships we build.
Across Kenya, Galentine’s quietly took over the city. The girlies were intentional. Soft dinners. Thoughtful gifts. Real presence. Care that felt considered.
Some say it’s the result of the so-called male loneliness epidemic. Perhaps. But Nairobi has been through a lot. In an ecosystem marked by rising femicide and everyday insecurity, survival sometimes looks like solidarity. Holding the line. Checking in. Sharing locations. Getting home safe. Loving loudly.
Friendship has become self-care. Sisterhood, a form of self-love.
Meanwhile, the internet simmered with familiar frustration. The same old Valentine’s script: cheap liquor, predictable chocolates, random perfume for the ladies… and the plain socks-and-briefs combo for the gentlemen left all wanting.
Some say: at least there was intention. Imperfect, yes but something.
Others say: intention without attention is nothing at all.
But Truth Be Told,
A gift that ignores your preferences is a reminder of how little someone truly notices you, and truly values you.
Perhaps Valentine’s in Kenya is not dying. Perhaps it is revealing.
Gentlemen, come closer.
Do some of you deserve more than socks?
When you speak poorly of your girlfriends to your friends.
When you joke online about buying chocolates in bulk for multiple “sneaky links.”
When you never buy flowers just because she deserves it. Never cook dinner. Never attempt to make shared life feel less like a trial by combat and more committed to growth.
When you mock women publicly instead of holding other men accountable, loudly.
Now, ladies, please have a seat
Do some of you truly deserve a personalised gift?
When mean is your main personality trait.
When the “baddie” act keeps landing you in compromising situations.
When getting an apology from you feels like queuing at Huduma Centre
Are you honouring love when you constantly belittle your man by reminding him that he is replaceable and you could do better in a instant?
Something is fractured.
Valentine’s Day, devoid of truth, becomes theatre. A bad relationship will not transform because of an expensive gift. Thoughtfulness is lived daily. It is consistent. It is intentional. It is reciprocal.
Demanding depth while practicing convenience.
Expecting effort while offering little to no grace.
That is the quiet recipe for resentment.
Perhaps it is also the lie we love telling ourselves:
that romance is failing us…
when in truth, we are the ones failing romance.