When I attended the Drunken Lectures last Monday, I was not expecting the theme to be this edgy or to learn as much as I did. Many Kenyans will agree that the state of affairs today is anything but consensual. Nobody would willingly agree to move from being broke once in a while, to broke every single day, and finally to broken every second of the day. Yet it is painfully clear that the very system that claims to grant us the right to give and withdraw consent is itself consciously consenting to withdrawing our right to say no. English is Englishing, but the truth stings.
One of the questions that sparked debate was that of drunk sex. The young often see it as fun. The older, wiser ones see it as a legal trap avoided by choosing prudence over pleasure. Both perspectives make sense, but one is certainly smarter. The law is unambiguous: the Sexual Offences Act, the Penal Code, the Marriage Act, and the Children Act all sketch the boundaries of consent. And within those boundaries, consent can only be given by an adult, fully in possession of their ability, and with full knowledge of what they are consenting to. Crucially, it can be withdrawn at any moment.
Let's look into the different layers of this concept.
The Age of Consent
In Kenya, the legal age of consent is 18 years. Why 18? Because by then, it is assumed that an individual has matured enough to make informed choices and to fend for themselves. In medieval times, the age was often 14, but that was a world of short lifespans, rampant disease, and minimal skills needed to survive. To the Neanderthals who want to lower the age today: stop. Different times demand different moral and intellectual sensitivities. That is called evolution. Empty coconuts, take note.
This also means that two underage people engaging in sex are both breaking the law, because the law does not permit them to consent. Early bloomers, curiosity jails the cat. It further means that any adult involved with a minor, regardless of the minor’s willingness, is committing a crime.
Sugar daddies, do your homework.
And to those hiding behind “culture” to justify child marriage: reckoning is coming.
But let’s not celebrate too quickly. Even as we speak, there are voices in Parliament calling for a reduction of the age of consent. The world is going mad. And yes, we know who to "thank" for giving a global voice to those who never deserved one.
Consent is Not a Package Deal
Consent is never a package deal.
Just because I consent to attend a party does not mean I consent to drink the alcohol offered. If I bring my own bottle, that does not mean I consent to share it with everyone else. Consent is always specific.
Consent in the Digital Age
Consider our digital lives. How many of us read Apple’s terms and conditions before clicking “I agree”? How many of us accept cookies on websites without a second thought, just to watch memes faster? How many of us give apps access to our personal data without fully understanding the consequences? This is not informed consent, it is coerced convenience.
And once you have agreed, try suing them. The disclaimers will remind you that you were “informed.”
Being in Possession of One’s Ability
To be in “possession of one’s ability” means being in full control of oneself, without impairment of any kind. Impairment may be physical, mental, or circumstantial. Coercion is impairment. Intoxication is impairment. Even being tipsy clouds judgment enough to disqualify informed decision-making.
Parents forcing children to clean their rooms may technically impair choice, but the law recognizes parents as guardians acting in the child’s best interest. That is why child marriage is never legitimate: the law does not transfer the right of consent to a guardian when it comes to a child’s marital status.
And this brings us back to drunk sex. A drunk person is not in control of their senses. A tipsy person isn’t either, even if it doesn’t show. So even if both parties are drunk and “agree,” the danger is clear: you may want it today, but what about tomorrow? There is no winning in that game. Only regrets, the shoulda, woulda, coulda carried away by the wind.
The Bottom Line
Consent is not a package deal, not blurred, and never permanent. It is specific, informed, voluntary, and revocable at any time. The moment society, the law, or power structures strip away those conditions, what remains is not consent, it is illusion. And illusions, as history always shows, collapse when tested.
